Obvious Growth: An #ISTE2014 Reflection

In the summer of 2012, I attended my very first ISTE conference. This prompted the creation of this blog, my first public writing, and my journey into EdTech. This conference and the people that I attended with laid the foundation for the honest reflection I had to do about how I was teaching and what I really wanted for my students. This was both exciting and extremely frightening.

ISTE is a hustle. The days are filled with learning and teaching, conversations, new ideas, sharing and pushing our thought-process to be different. The nights are long with friends and networking and celebrations. It is a late night and early morning space where many of us don't stop moving until we step back home. I heard it described by many as exhausting, draining, and emotional. With so much to take in, allowing the brain and body time to rest and reflect is vitally important in the processing of this experience.

As I rest on my plane ride home, I think back to 2012 and how different my personal and professional lives are today.  This year I had the privilege of bringing two of my colleagues to ISTE for the first time. Our school recently receive a substantial grant that will allow us to propel our 1:1 Chromebook program forward and develop our curriculum and teachers in a way that deeply supports the rich learning we crave for our kids. We have a team of people that I love and trust and that push me to be better each day.

Today I love teaching. Today, I am braver than I have ever been. Today, I feel like I make a difference.

In this travel home, I think about how different I am as a teacher. It is sometimes tough to look back on who I used to be, but a worthwhile exercise. As we push forward, it is important for me to remember this moment. In another two years, I want this same experience. I want to look back and be different. I want to be braver. I want to think some of the things I did and said were silly and misguided. I want the growth to be obvious because that will be it is deep and real.

As I gain strength and let the experience of ISTE marinate in a calmer space, I will push myself and my team to take what we have seen, heard, and learned and push ourselves and our kids to have tougher conversations. I want us to feel safe to explore what we did not learn at this conference, what did not meet our needs, what still needs tweeking. I will remember that all good change comes in a time of acceptance and raw emotion, so I will try to be gentle with myself and others as we jump into the work ahead of us. I will keep in mind the reverse vision of growth I hope to see when I look upon this self in the future, and I will work to make sure that change is obvious.

Thank a Teacher Day: The #Dreamteam

PPPCS Middle School Team

As we move into the last quarter of the school year, I naturally drift into a reflective state. For me, endings always bring a hyper-sensitivity, which causes me to take a step back and a look back at how I arrive where I am. The reflection of my current situation has not been as centered on my students though, but that of the people on my team and the relationships I have built over the past three years at my school.

As a professional, I have worked at three different schools in Baltimore City. My current school is the longest placement I have had thus far. For the most part, our middle school team has remained pretty consistent over those three years. Some teachers have come and gone, but the cement of our team's foundation has began to really take form this year. 

This is an incredible team of educators. This is a team of people that go above and beyond every single day to make kids' lives better than they were yesterday. These people are smart, loving, patient, and forever courageous. These people have sat with me in moments of laughter and in times of tears. We have yelled in both anger and excitement at what was going on around us. And together we have pushed ourselves and one another to grow into better teachers, and different people, than who we were when we started the year. 

This year, there has been tremendous trust and love. This year, these people moved from colleagues to people that hold a really important piece of my heart. They have held that piece, shaped it to be different, and handed it back to me so I can be better. They show me more patience, trust, grace, and love than I truly deserved. They believe in one another and together we have thrived in so many ways. 

What have I learned from this team, these relationships, this opportunity for deep and internal growth? I have learned that I am only as good as the people I surround myself with, yet we are only as good as our willingness to grow and change. I have learned that it is okay to let people make mistakes, and it is even better to let them figure out how to fix it, but the best is loving them through that process. I will forever remember what is feels like to be wrapped in support and care with a group moving towards a common goal. I will carry this body-memory of success with me into my future experiences. I will be a better teacher and leader because of our work together.

I want to take a minute to thank each of the incredible educators I am lucky enough have on my team. 

Amber Johnson - Thank you never failing to be your true, unapologetic self. Your spirit, energy, and love radiate through your drive to make everyone around you better. Thank you for listening carefully and catching the stories of our team and our students. Thank you for caring about me as a person,  as someone that has messy feelings and crazy ideas.

Jes Pegorsch -  Thank you for teaching us all how to tap into our artistic selves. Your honesty about who you are and how you feel pushes me to be braver and to feel more deeply. You have empowered our students to call themselves artists and to find their own path in self-expression.  Every single day I am learning from you and from the art you create with our students.

Adam Bradbury - Thank you for your amazing paternal nature, your kindness, and for your support of every single kid and adult that is in your space. You make us smile and yet always have your eye on the prize, pushing each of us to be a better part of a stronger whole. You model this strength every day, and we follow your lead.

Mike Hendrick - Thank you for your calm wisdom. You bring a history to our space that allows us to tap into the foundation of our school and our community. Your voice is always pragmatic and your spirit is always nurturing. In my opinion, you are by far the most interesting person on our team.

Tom Consroe - Thank you for being a quiet leader. You have an ability to push our kids to be better without them even knowing they are growing. You show us what it looks like to be compassionate and kind, even in the most frustrating moments.

Rob Glotfelty - Thank you for your dedication and drive for growth and change. I have watched you transform our students into young adults that are curious and passionate about science. You share your deep passion for the universe with us all, and it creates a space of wonder and awe. 

Ricardo Horna - Thank you for teaching us how to love what is special and unique about ourselves. Your natural passion for understanding how to inspire people oozes from your teaching. You push all of us to be proud of who we are and what we have to offer, and then you create a space where we can be courageous enough to showcase ourselves in this vulnerable way.

Greg Heid - Thank you for sharing your passion for math and challenging me to adopt a different language around your beloved subject. You have allowed me to explore what makes math beautiful and how I can appreciate math's role in art, nature, and the natural order of our universe. Thank you for helping to change perspectives. And, as always, thanks for balancing my tiger-approach with the calmness of a turtle.

These people represent the PPPCS #dreamteam. I appreciate each one of you for making me a better educator and a better person.

The Power of Autonomy

(Photo by John Hendrixson)

Releasing control can be hardest thing in the world. As a teacher, I want to plan, prep, prepare, and ensure that everything is perfectly in place to make certain my classes run smoothly and my students are successful.  Calm, productive, engaged, that is what we all want for our students, right?

In the past few years, I have embraced a different approach to teaching. It can still be calm, we are productive, and students are engaged in learning.  Although, most of the time, it is a little messy.  We make noise and we make a mess. We talk, think, chart ideas, argue, debate, draft, dispose, and create. My students are able to explore the process of learning and discovery, mostly without my help. I am available to provide guidance and direction, but mostly I just support them, encouraging them to feel confident enough to push their thinking and challenge one another to be better.

This happens with autonomy, allowing students to explore without tight restrictions. With autonomy and control over their learning process, students are empowered to learn like real people, in the real world, learning about real things that matter. This is where passion is born.

This past week, I learned how powerful this notion of autonomy is for adults, not just my students. We brought this approach to our professional development with our first FedEx Day. Teachers and staff could work on a project completely of their own choosing, the only two rules being it had to benefit students and they had to deliver something at the end of the day.

I have never seen our staff so excited during a professional development. They loved having autonomy, were empowered by making their own choices and managing their own time, and inspired by what others were doing. We collaborated and created.  Then we shared. What more could you hope for from a smart and dedicated teaching staff?

(FedEx Day comments from staff, board members, and parents)

Like my students, our staff exceeded my expectations. They took full advantage of this time to work on new projects, develop and build new things, and design opportunities for our students. No one told them what to create, which allowed teachers to focus on something they were invested in and passionate. Most worked on something that had been rattling around in their brain for a while and just never had time or space to make a reality.

In reflecting upon this experience, and the joys and struggles of providing autonomy to my students, I have realized that it takes a level of courage to say, "I trust that your ideas are better suited for you than my plan for you. I trust you to take charge. I trust you to be great." I think this is why people love to engage in self-directed learning. They are suddenly valued, their ideas and plans trusted, their products validated. 
   
So what did I learn? Our schools must provide teachers the time and space to collaborate and inspire one another. If you do not have a staff that is able to be explode when giving autonomy, you need to reevaluate your hiring process and the people you are trusting with our kids. I learned that when given the chance to inspire one another to be great, our staff will work their butts off to ensure everyone is successful, supported, and encouraged in their own creative process.

I learned there is a paradox at work here. When given autonomy, we build community.

What are you expecting from your students and staff? Are you giving them the space to be amazing? Or do you control and direct their creativity and productivity, only to find the results are lackluster? Even bigger, are you brave enough to relinquish your own expectations and allow the people around you to release their talents? How are you empowering the people around you, students and adults alike, to inspire one another without restrictions?

In a world that is unpredictable and ever-changing, we grasp to shreds of our lives that can be molded and controlled. It is human nature and it makes us feel safe. In a world that is unpredictable, though, we must walk the road together, being willing to push one another to grow and change. Let's take a moment to explore what is unscripted and beautiful about our ideas. Let's get messy. Let's have the courage to trust the greatness in each one us. Let's create something wonderful together!

Developing the Professional #SAVMP

I was probably in my third year of teaching before I experienced any formal professional development that was both meaningful and relevant. Every year I sat through numerous sessions that involved someone at the district level reading a PowerPoint to a group of teachers, usually in a cramped and ridiculously uncomfortable classroom.  I remember early in my career sitting on a radiator (there were no seats left in the room) in a classroom that was 100 degrees, watching cockroaches run in and out of the slats upon which I was sitting.

Needless to say, I didn't gain much from these sessions. I realized quickly that if I wanted to develop as a teacher I would have to make connections and find outside resources. I had a tight group of English teachers in my first-year cohort and we shared ideas and lessons regularly. I also began to "steal" from teachers that shared their lessons online and had class websites. It was like hitting gold when I could get a glimpse into someone else's classroom.

It wasn't until my fourth year of teaching that I began working at a school that tapped into the talents of its own staff. My current school, Patterson Park Public Charter School, ran almost 100% of our PD's in-house, meaning staff got choices and were empowered to facilitate sessions they felt would be meaningful. We also dedicate one afternoon each week to PD. Students leave early on this day and the staff engage in a wide range of development experiences.

In helping my school think through what professional development could be, and working over the summer with An Estuary, a professional development startup based in Baltimore, I have grown to believe that teachers should be in charge of developing themselves as professionals. In the words of Shelly Blake-Plock, "Teachers should control their development because teachers actually matter." Shelly and his team really started to change my views on what PD could be if we just connected teachers and enabled them to take charge of their own learning in meaningful ways.

The greatest form of development I have found as a professional has been through the connections I have made with other teachers and administrators. Through Twitter, I have been fortunate enough to be exposed to so many different ideas and people, all of which have shaped my own teaching practices. I have learned more from being connected to these people than I have from any class or PD session I have attended. I am exposed to articles, studies, videos, chats, and blogs that serve as the most powerful form of personal and professional development. 

These experiences, and my Professional Learning Network, has changed my teaching, and my overall attitude towards the profession, in powerful ways. Building these relationships allows me to share what I am doing with people that care about me and my students. They cheer us on, help us when we fall, and push our thinking so we can be better tomorrow. 

Recently, I also started playing around with an app called Sanderling. This is an amazing tool for someone like me, a teacher that is constantly doing development activities outside of my school and classroom. I tweet about this stuff, talk to staff, and blog about it, but I have never actually tracked my progress. This tool enables me to create projects and log my activities in a field journal. I can connect with others that are interested in working on the same projects, create lists, and reflect on activities I engage in along the way.

We all benefit, we all learn, and we all grow.

What this really comes down to is the power we all have to develop each other. Our voices are important. Our experiences offer change and hope. Our failures guide us into success when we share with others. Teaching can be lonely and isolating. Sharing opens our doors and breaks down the walls. What we do each day is important and we need to show the world. Teaching together yields better results than teaching alone. On a personal note, it has also helped me build some of the most amazing friendships with people that truly care about me and my students, and that I deeply care about in return. 

Does it get much better than that?

Whose voices do you listen to when crafting development experiences? Are you giving teachers and staff what they need, or are you forcing square pegs into round holes? When designing PD for teachers, are you tapping into the talents of your staff, thus empowering them to share something special about their own work with others? Do you treat your staff as professionals that are smart and talented enough to have autonomy and develop their own professional needs?

When thinking about developing the professionals around you, listen to what they need, both individually and collectively. Empower your staff to share with one another and the world outside of their classrooms. Encourage them to disseminate their own talents and knowledge, as it will lift them up and help them grow.

A Matter of the Heart

Photo by KB

Every once in while I am slapped in the face with reality. Something so real and so sobering takes place that I lose my breath for a moment. I become startled and I panic. Sometimes it is these experience that force me to look at myself, or give me the courage to help others grow. Mostly, though, these moments are just uncomfortable until I have time to process them privately.

Recently, I had a few of these moments in quick succession. The first came from a student. Our team organized a rather larger meeting with this student out of both concern and frustration. She struggled through a rather uncomfortable meeting with more adults than could fit at a small conference table. She was shut-down, withdrawn. We questioned whether or not we would ever reach her. At the end of the week, when my students wrote weekly "appreciations" in advisory, she handed this to me on the way out the door.

The second instance came with a very different experience. Over the last month, I have had the privilege of working with two colleagues to build soap-box carts with our kids. These are both science teachers, one of which teaches in our elementary school so I barely knew him, having never found any opportunity to collaborate with him up until this point.  I watched these teachers passionately embrace this project and our students. They worked late into the evenings to prepare these carts for the community race. This was a labor of love, and their energy and enthusiasm was contagious. 

On a Saturday, this teacher invited students, staff, parents (even my mother showed up!), and administrators to his home to celebrate the completion of these carts before the race. We ate, laughed, and cheered our kids on as they pushed these carts down the racecourse hill. This teacher brought a community together and I left feeling so full of joy and happiness.

Both these situations, though drastically different in emotions, reminded me so clearly about the needs of the heart. Whether it be students, parents, or teachers, we all need care, support, and love. We yearn to be part of something larger, something more substantial than our own selves and day-to-day routines. Sometimes our hearts are full and sometimes our hearts are sad, but that doesn't change the need we have to reveal ourselves to those around us, as frightening as this can be.  

In reflecting, I am forced to ask myself how open my heart is to the people around me. How accepting am I when others open up themselves to me? When I am full of sadness or doubt, can I be honest enough to accept help? When I am pushed and challenged to change for the better, can I trust the hearts of others to guide me?

As I walk through this year, I will strive to be a bit kinder, a little more gentle with others' hearts. We are fragile and we are delicate, even when it does not appear so on the outside. When I see sadness I will try to offer compassion; when I see struggle I will try to offer hope. When I see opportunity, I will try to open this offer to our others. 

If we work to protect each other's hearts, we will work to sustain ourselves and others through all matters, big and small. These will be the instances that ultimately build the foundation for change. 

Whose Team Are You On? (#SAVMP)

PPPCS Middle School Team (2013)

What makes a team special?  Is it communication? A common goal?  The ability and determination to work hard and band together to rise above the rest?  I would say all of these qualities make a team effective and powerful, but they are not what makes a team special.  You know, the type of team that is the best at what they do but also has fun doing it.  That is a team built upon layers of trust.

In teaching, we talk a lot about relationships. It is important to let people know who you are, to listen and communicate, and to support one another.  Do these things build trust within a team?  I think so, but it is deeper than that.

Trust is developed when members of a team all collectively choose to be vulnerable with one another. It starts with honesty, sometimes about work-related issues, sometimes personal matters.  It is built upon when the members of a group start to reveal aspects of themselves, honestly and openly, realizing that they can be themselves,100%, without fear of it ever being held against them.  

This doesn't happen overnight; it is a process. 

Together, that team builds upon a layer of honesty and openness.  This allows teams to to grow and support one another.  It encourages trust in the most loving form.  Once there is this bond, a team can push its members, even when it means having tough conversations and addressing weaknesses and failures. The foundational trust allows people to know that they must look at themselves and improve because the people on their team need them to be better and to grow. They grow together and trust that the people around them will push themselves to be their best, even when it feels the worst.

These teams, the special ones, tend to stay together.  They grow and change together.  The years go by, they celebrate and grieve together, they lean on one another. They laugh together and they cry with one another. At times, feelings are hurt, but not for long, because the well-being of this group is superior to individual egos. Humility overpowers in even the toughest times.

The teams I am describing here, they can be found everywhere, in schools all over the country.  Yet, these teams are special because each is comprised of a group of people that not only enjoy what they do and trust one another, but have a deep and growing love for one another.  They have become a family. The trust they built back in the beginning, it grew into so much more. 

What are you doing to build your team?  How are your actions encouraging honesty, trust, and vulnerability? What are you doing to make your team special?

Hope and Heartbreak: Building a Tribes Community

(Photo used by permission: Broken Whisker Photography)

Training Reflection: Day 2

In continuing our training to build a better culture and community within our school, we completed day two of training with Tribes.  We were put into tribes, or small groups, with a few of our colleagues and Nancy, our facilitator, told us it was time to deep deeper.  Things were about to get personal.

First she asked us to pull out our phones and choose a picture to share with our tribes.  This was fun and I learned something new about each of my colleagues.  I got teary-eyed sharing my image during the first image, but I pulled it together, and we moved.  No problem...

Next, we were given a piece of wire and asked to manipulate it in a way that would represent the course of our lives.  This "Live Wire" activity seemed harmless enough.  Nancy put on some music and everyone worked intently to twist, bend, and twirl their wire into their own story. Then we shared our stories with our tribe groups.  

That is when things got uncomfortable for me. Today was the first time I was brought to tears in front of my coworkers.  Today I was open and vulnerable enough to be moved deeply by stories of personal pain and struggle. I felt silly, dramatic, a little out of control of my emotions.  I didn't like it and fought to stop it.

But while one of my co-workers told his story, through a beautifully designed wire, he shared about heartbreak and hope. He was so honest and brave and trusting. What I respected most was he took advantage of what Nancy has been calling the "right to pass." He simply stated that of the three most tumultuous events represented on his wire, he would share only one with us. He showed how it was simultaneously safe for our group to trust each other with these histories and to not share everything.  

Live Wire: Personal Histories

The training touched on many other aspects of building a community, including 21st century skills, multiple intelligences, and building reflective practices. While all of this was important for our understanding of this program, I will be taking away our experience in our own tribes, the influence this had on my overall well-being as a part of this team, and how I can reflect on my emotions to this experience.

Tribes, unlike many of other character programs, focuses on building and changing the culture within a school. It is not about a specific lesson or skill, but about a community. Together, we want our students, parents, and teachers to feel as if they work in the most amazing community, one that will support them through anything they may encounter.  

The focus is to build a community that is strong in times of both hope and heartbreak.

Yesterday I trusted the process.  Today I trusted my community.  Tomorrow, I remain open-minded and willing to learn, for I have the greatest trust that together we can only continue to grow in this experience. 

The Future is Now

Mrs. Shaw's students

Admittedly, it doesn't take much to impress me; I am pretty easily entertained. That being said, last week I had a discussion with some colleagues that was so mind-altering that I am still trying to understanding how I had not realized it before now.

As we continue to build our school's new curriculum, we are engaging in a number of discussions about "resources."  I put this in quotes because resources are no longer simply textbooks and lab materials.  Resources are available all around us, at the click of your mouse, literally at your fingertips. 

When I asked about the decisions made around science textbooks, I was told we decided to get digital subscriptions. Ok, makes sense to me.  Then I was told that it was actually going to be cheaper to get a class set of Chromebooks then it would be to order enough textbooks for all our middle schoolers.  
Mind. Blown.

I had to stop and ask myself why I was so surprised.  This actually makes sense and seems like a complete no brainer.  The Chromebooks are just one tool, though. This is how we will access all the additional materials, whether it be the "textbook" or anything else students could possibly need to learn about various science topics. This obviously expands the knowledge and learning worlds beyond what could be found in one book. It is now more cost effective to get ALL the "resources" than just one textbook.  

The future is now.